


whatever you wish for, you keep

by Caracalliope



Series: Four Times Kanaya Took Care Of A Strilonde's Mommy Kink (And One Time She Took Care Of Her Own) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cinderella Kink, Communication Failure, F/F, Relationship Negotiation, Roleplay, Stepmommy Kink, background Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caracalliope/pseuds/Caracalliope
Summary: Rose fucks up. Kanaya makes an offer. Roxy freaks out. Dave makes pancakes.





	whatever you wish for, you keep

Pesterlog Excerpt

TT: Would you say your fondness for soap operas stems from your relationship with your mother?  
TT: This was a joke, mostly.

TG: well no i mean  
TG: mom left me exactly one thing to watch that wasnt an interview with the condesce  
TG: or an illegally scavenged youtube recording of ‘a very complacent musical’  
TG: and that thing  
TG: was  
TG: cinderella the 1950 version with the mice  
TG: and the singing

TT: Your mother is an excruciating fountain of surprises. Why that film in particular?

TG: i think mom meant to make me a list of all must-watch childhood classics  
TG: and she started it chronologically  
TG: and then she got distracted

TT: I find this easy to imagine, and difficult to accept.

TG: its not like i couldnt find more cartoons!  
TG: i met dirk rly young and he hooked me up to that sweet replacement warmth of animated edutainment

TT: Thank you for the tactful change of subject. Did you watch old cartoons together?

TG: his fave show was the squiddle chronicles ;)

TT: Oh, my.

TG: theres an insight to dirks psyche for you  
TG: free of cost :D  
TG: idk where he stands on tentacle therapy but i suspect he wouldnt be opposed to the concept  
TG: but anyway he refused to watch cinderella with me

TT: Because it was girly?

TG: because 7 yr old dirk haaaaaaated monarchies  
TG: like show him an aquatic society of friendly cephalopods taking over deserted human cities and hell just think its so kawaii  
TG: but bring a crown into the picture and hes sharpening his guillotine

TT: The miniature guillotine he inherited from him Bro?

TG: exactly that guillotine!  
TG: made in kyoto  
TG: automated by dirk himself  
TG: until he dismantled it at age eight because thats what asimov would have wanted  
TG: just to clarify the guillotine is entirely metaphorical afaik

TT: I assumed so!   
TT: So, while seven-year-old Dirk was building up his dreams of liberté, and particularly fraternité, did you like to imagine yourself as a princess?

TG: soooooooort of?  
TG: i was more into  
TG: the first half of the movie  
TG: with the hot wicked stepmother :)

TT: I confess I don’t remember that part of the film too well.

TG: she had this way of making things appear fair when they really weren’t

TT: A feigned benevolence?

TG: yeah!

TT: That is wicked. What made her hot?

TG: she was scary and very calm  
TG: and had beautiful green eyes and she was fancy but restrained?  
TG: wore a red dress and a big heavy green ring  
TG: she was really tall i think  
TG: talked in this very measured kind of way  
TG: short hair and all kind of angular  
TG: i liked her a lot!!

TT: It sounds like the character meant a lot to you.

TG: sure did 

TT: It also sounds like there was subtext in your wedding speech I did not fully appreciate at the time.

TG: …….

TT: Forgive me if I read something into it that wasn’t there to begin with.

TG: it wasnt  
TG: not there?  
TG: im sorry i accidentally perved all over your wife  
TG: at your wedding haha  
TG: i should have just stuck to my notes

TT: I wouldn’t worry about it. You repeated most of it, and with more vehemence, once you went into Trickster mode.

TG: :(  
TG: i regret my kiss-transmitted sugary sins

TT: Everything you said then was objectively true though. My wife truly is ‘gorgeous like a liquor commercial’, and she is even hotter in boots. She does resemble a lioness, ‘not in a furry way, probably’, and she is definitely tall.

TG: i didnt know i said all that  
TG: you never mentioned it

TT: You were endearingly flustered.

TG: :)  
TG: she looked really nice  
TG: in the wedding dress and all  
TG: and the way she looked at you  
TG: like shes a cat and youre dinner and shell bite anyones hand off who comes near you  
TG: only  
TG: you know  
TG: romantic

TT: I think biting is the height of romance.

TG: :D

TT: I’m glad you appreciate Kanaya’s elegance and her well-hidden protectiveness. I like those things about her.

TG: :)

TT: Have you ever thought about becoming closer to her? Not only emotionally, but in a more physical sense?

TG: i  
TG: rose  
TG: i may have been raised by the internet  
TG: which made porn my second language  
TG: but i know enough about polite society not to try to seduce my stepmother  
TG: at least not in a premeditated way

TT: Of course not. You would never do anything to hurt me.

TG: tru!!!!!!!!!

TT: And Kanaya is difficult to seduce anyway. I had to reexamine my methods several times before she told me that I was the one being seduced in that situation.

TG: heh

TT: But I’d be happy to help communicate your intentions to her, if you have any.

TG: i dont know what you want me to say  
TG: i apologize for messing up the speech. i didnt think you were angry but that was stupid of me. im rly sorry. of course i wont 

TT: No, Roxy -  
TT: I am sorry, I was trying to tease you and be magnanimous and I, predictably, failed very badly at both.   
TT: I will have to coordinate with Kanaya, but I believe she will have A Proposition For You.

twilitGnostic [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 23:16 

* * *

tentacleTherapist [TT]  began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 23:17

TT: Help, I fucked up.

GA: Describe What Fucking Up Means To You  
GA: In Your Own Words  
GA: Shooshing From My End Might Be Delayed While I Extract Myself From This Quagmire Of Infants

TT: I will take comfort in the promise of shooshing.  
TT: Apart from the part where I just alienated Roxy, maybe forever.  
TT: I thought we were engaging in witty repartee culminating in a generous offer from me.  
TT: She thought I was passive-aggressively telling her to step off from my wife.  
TT: I cannot imagine why she thought that, based only on the fact that passive-aggression is my bread and butter. Cream and catnip, light and sight.  
TT: I knew I was making her uncomfortable, why did I think that was a good thing? She's not Dave.  
TT: Maybe I should stop doing it to Dave too.

GA: Please Don't Exaggerate Like That  
GA: Your Moiralliance With Dave Is Built On A Solid Foundation of Antagonism  
GA: Roxy And You Have A Different Dynamic

TT: Yes, and I just ruined it.

GA: Shoosh  
GA: Did You Fight

TT: No. I basically terrorized her off of Pestechum. Or possibly into a vow of silence. She is appearing offline, which is her special power, and I can see that she’s there, which is mine.

GA: Light Of My Life  
GA: Did You Tell Her About My Desire To Hook Up With Her

TT: No.

GA: Did You Tell Her Anything At All

TT: Are you suggesting I should have started with giving her straightforward information instead of setting up an opportunistic rhetorical trap and then embarrassing her by bringing up our wedding?

GA: Well  
GA: Of Course Not  
GA: Im Suggesting I Should Have Had The Conversation Instead Of You

TT: Yes.

GA: Yes  
GA: So  
GA: Guess Thats What Ill Do

TT: Okay. Need help with the quagmire?

GA: Always

TT: Can I bring my violin?

GA: Yes  
GA: But Not The Soporific Majyyk One  
GA: There Are No Shortcuts To Naptime  
GA: Suffer For The Future Of Your Species Rose  
TT: Always.

tentacleTherapist [TT]  ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 23:17

* * *

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering twilitGnostic [TG] at 23:52

GA: Hello  
GA: My Wife Has Shared Your Recent Correspondence  
GA: Saying She Might As Well Be Hanged For The Bahbeast As For A Somewhat Smaller Fuckup  
GA: And I Just Want You To Know  
GA: That You Are The One Being Seduced In This Situation  
GA: If You Want  
GA: By Me  
GA: Rose Is Not Going To Be Our Human Auspistice  
GA: Nor Jealous Nor Disappointed Nor Involved  
GA: We Both Care About You  
GA: I Am Also Somewhat Flushed For You And For The Idea Of Giving You Something You Can Enjoy  
GA: After You Have Given Me The World  
GA: But We Wont Ask Again If You Say No  
GA: I Can Continue Supplying You With Dresses Instead  
GA: If You Want  
GA: Please Tell Me If Rose And I Are Heading For The Same Bahbeast Gallows  
GA: Any Answer Is Good And So Is No Answer  
GA: Just Take Your Time

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering twilitGnostic [TG] at 23:59


End file.
